In this short blogpost I’ll be writing about the phenomenon of bullying. And I’ll be looking at what creates situations of bullying, and finally I’ll be answering the question who is really the bully.
Bullying is a social phenomenon. It happens usually in the presence of others or in a group of people. Often the ‘point’ of bullying is to humiliate somebody in front of the group. Now when it comes to crimes that are generally not acceptable in society — they are done in secret, because if they would’ve been done publicly — the person that is doing such acts would have to face consequences in two arenas. One is the consequences that the law provides. And the second one is social exclusion. So we’re dealing here with two kinds of ‘laws’. The official/formal one, and the one that a specific social group is creating by what each member of the group is accepting and allowing.
Now — you might have already guessed where I’m getting to — “The Bully” is not an individual. What creates “The Bully” as a personality, and as the situations of bullying is the acceptances and allowances of individuals that constitute a group. It can’t be any simpler then that in fact. If situations of abuse and bullying are accepted by individuals — they are responsible for the situations that happen in their presence, and are responsible also for similar situations in the future where the bully will do the same thing, based on the lack of consequence that his actions had previously. All because of allowing such behavior. Because that’s equal to saying “It’s OK to bully and abuse”.
And therefore — it’s pretty simple — “The Bully” is we as a group as the whole society, taking part in allowing and accepting such behavior and therefore supporting bullying. Being passive doesn’t mean “not participating”. We ALWAYS participate. We take part-in-what-we-see (PART-I-SEE-pate). So if you don’t agree with bullying, and in fact see it as unacceptable — then stop taking part in bullying and stop allowing and accepting such behaviors around you.